Saturday, May 14, 2005

Another Year Older

As every cranky ol' SOB can relate to, birthdays become progessivley less fun after the 29th. Instead of spending the night closing down a bar with a tattooed wench on your arm, you instead spend the evening going over retirement plans, and making checklists for the year ahead.

Recently I've been making a list of goals for the coming year. Digging out the one from last year, I didn't do too shabby.

Find a better job. Check. I had some help with this one. I tip my hat to the lying, cheap scumbags at Adelphia for letting me go. The new job is much better.

Become a better husband. Well, I made some progress on this one. I no longer spend the night browsing Filipino mail order bride catalogs, so I guess I'm doing better. I also stopped beating Julie for minor infractions. I save it for the big issues, like making the coffee too weak.

Take over the world. I have to be honest. The plan to train Joe's hamster to lead an army of small mammals didn't work out as well as I planned. You can't win them all.

Well, here we go again. Another year where I can sit back and just enjoy the fact that everything is working out pretty well. I have a great family, a roof over the head and a full stomach. As soon as I get the kinks of worked out of the that whole world domination thingie, I should be fine.


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